Like a wild animal that wakes up hungry and must chase down its breakfast, I head to the starting line of the Dublin Marathon. I’ve been on a zero-carb diet for three months and made the discovery on a training marathon, that my fastest, easiest marathon distance was when I hadn’t eaten for about 20 hours. Continue reading “Running On Empty At The Dublin Marathon 2018”
‘That is, like, the most amazing bum I have ever seen,’ I think to myself as I am running the first few miles of the Great Limerick Run, ‘how in the name of God am I going to run behind that for the next three hours?’, I worry.
It’s truly so hypnotic that I can’t help but be distracted by it. I find myself craning my head downwards to look at it and I worry it’s going to ruin my posture and leave me with a sore neck at the end of the day. Continue reading “The Great Limerick Bum and Other Stories From The Great Limerick Run 2018”
“Well, at least you finished,” was a sympathetic response I got from several runners when I told them I did the Connemarathon last Sunday in 5hours 20mins. Most of these people had done sub 4 hours.
To this sympathetic tone and sincere look of pity, I felt the need to defend my manhood.
“I was wearing these barefoot shoes, see,” said I, showing them my VFFs as proof, “I’m doing Limerick in two weeks in ‘normal’ shoes and expect I’ll do sub 4 hours.”
Continue reading “Losing With Style At The Connemara Marathon 2018”
In the pre-feminist days of the caveman there must have been many, many occasions where such a man had to fight off a rival caveman who wanted to dash his brains in with a rock, murder his children, and take his woman for himself. Continue reading “Death-match at EAMS’ 6 Hour St Patrick’s Day Challenge in Belfast”
“So long, suckas!” a chirpy young child ejected as he was being pushed on the swing by his mother.
“Oh, don’t say that,” said mother, “just say ‘so long’ or ‘so long, amigos’.” Continue reading “Modern Parenting”
Nice picture! Great picture! Oh that’s one for the frame! You look gorgeous, darling!
No, it’s a terrible picture! I look terrible and no it’s not one for the frame! You are all liars!
I find myself liking people who post belligerent and controversial bile that I don’t even agree with more than people who incessantly say all the right things in such a syrupy sweet way that I may be Continue reading “Why I Am Quitting Facebook”
Writing this post feels kind of stupid because doing a marathon no longer seems like a big deal to me. But notice how I said “doing”, not running.
I had aspirations of running a marathon since my mid twenties but every single time I got into the rhythm of training my knees, back, or hamstrings, or something else got screwed up and my running came to an abrupt end. Continue reading “How To Do A Marathon Without Training”
Experts have today released a shocking announcement that farm animals may all be extinct in the near future if the current spread of Veganism continues unabated. Continue reading “Vegans Are Trying To Make Animals Extinct, Warn Experts.”
“A cow trapped inside a man’s body, that’s how I feel,” said the Galway man in a mooving tone. Continue reading “Galway Man Thinks He’s A Cow, Demands Respect”