Author Archives: The COW

About The COW

I like stories!

The Best/Worst Marathon In Ireland Survey

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Why I Am Quitting Facebook

Nice picture! Great picture! Oh that’s one for the frame! You look gorgeous, darling! No, it’s a terrible picture! I look terrible and no it’s not one for the frame! You are all liars! I find myself liking people who … Continue reading

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How To Do A Marathon Without Training

Writing this post feels kind of stupid because doing a marathon no longer seems like a big deal to me. But notice how I said “doing”, not running. I had aspirations of running a marathon since my mid twenties but … Continue reading

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Vegans Are Trying To Make Animals Extinct, Warn Experts.

Experts have today released a shocking announcement that farm animals may all be extinct in the near future if the current spread of Veganism continues unabated. “These people say that animals are sentient beings and should not be eaten,” said … Continue reading

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Galway Man Thinks He’s A Cow, Demands Respect

“A cow trapped inside a man’s body, that’s how I feel,” said the Galway man in a mooving tone. “I don’t know why it’s so hard to fathom,” he continued, “I mean women get trapped in men’s bodies and men … Continue reading

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Pussy Plans To Run Ten Marathons In Ten Years For Feminist Charity

No, not a cat, just a very feeble “man” with feminist tendencies as evidenced by his desire to support the newly founded charity called The Irish Alliance Of Women Against Men. A relation of top RTE executives, the man was … Continue reading

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Fucking Nutcase Trains Barefoot

The Galway Cow has learned that there is an out-and-out nutcase going around the country, running marathons, who does a lot of his training barefoot. “It’s the way nature intended,” asserted the fucking nutcase, “your toes are meant to splay … Continue reading

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Galway Man (90) Who Had Sexual Desires Shamed In Court

In the latest in a string of sexual indiscretions the Galway COW can reveal that a 90 year old Galway man once had desires of a sexual nature. “I was a young man,” he said, “barely 18, and I was … Continue reading

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Would You Prefer A Finisher Medal Or A Decent Photo For Your Wall?

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How to Lose 100 Page Likes on Facebook

Recently, I’ve been indulging my narcissistic tendencies and conducting an experiment to see if the world thinks I am as fascinating and interesting as I like to think I am. Well, the results are in! I’m not! I’ve compiled this … Continue reading

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