How to Lose 100 Page Likes on Facebook

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Recently, I’ve been indulging my narcissistic tendencies and conducting an experiment to see if the world thinks I am as fascinating and interesting as I like to think I am.

Well, the results are in! I’m not!

I’ve compiled this little list so that YOU too can effortlessly annihilate your following and make yourself invisible in cyberspace.

1. Get drunk and spray your self-pitying bile on your page. I did this. I announced I wasn’t going to take any more marathon pics. Big mistake. I lost about 30 likes in a heartbeat.

2. Make it all about YOU. People, like me and you, are mostly preoccupied with ourselves and we all hope that the world will come to see us as the amazing people that only our mothers believed we could be. Big mistake! All these silly posts I’ve made recently have cost me a good few followers.

3. Post pictures of photos that will offend people. Okay, this is a tricky one. Posting photos of my flabby body or blistered feet didn’t seem to offend anybody (apart from me), but for some reason posting a photo of a beautiful topless blonde cost me around twenty page likes. You will just have to trial and error this one, cos people are weird.

4. Post a load of crap, that’s not crap to you, but which most people deem weird or uninteresting. I’ve been doing this with my posts on barefoot running and sleeping on the floor. While there are a small percentage of people that find such training practices laudable and beneficial, most just think they are a load of nonsense and would rather have their feet amputated than dare to be seen in public with no shoes.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far. I’m delighted that the occasional person is still able to read and finds my shite talk remotely as interesting as I do.

I love YOU for loving ME, cos let’s be honest – we both know I’m AWESOME!

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About The COW

I like stories!
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