“Jesus Christ, he’s running in flip flops,” is something I heard over and over and over and over again yesterday. “You mad bastard,” was said to me so many times that I started to feel like an “S” should be added to the LGBT flag so as to include folks like me that like to run in sandals. Personally, I find it shocking that so many can afford to run in €300 Nikes that one chap informed me last only 200kms. If that is true then that means each mile costs €2.50 and essentially makes them over 8 times more expensive than petrol on a per mile basis. I heard the opening line so many times yesterday that I started to fancy that maybe I am, in fact, Jesus Christ.Continue reading “Sandal Pride at the Cork City Marathon 2022”
“Oh, well done, running a marathon is an achievement,” is something a lot of people have said to me to which I generally reply, “Meh, getting out of bed is an achievement too”.
On race day, I find that the hardest bit is, literally, getting out of bed at stupid o’clock to go and stand in the cold for an hour before running around the road for a few more hours. I’m not a person that’s interested in finisher medals but I think I’d be partial to the idea of getting one for getting up early of a Sunday morning and standing, semi-naked, with a few thousand others of the same persuasion who, for some reason, seem rather cheerful about the prospect.Continue reading “The Great Limerick Run 2022”
At big city marathons I fancy myself a gladiator in an arena and so I don’t be inclined to wear headphones as I wish to hear the cheers of encouragement from the crowds who come out to support by clapping and cheering. I fancy they are out there for me, even though they aren’t, and I want to see and hear them and engage with them a little bit.Continue reading “In the Arena at the Manchester Marathon 2022”
I’ve been having a bad bloody week. One might say a bloody bad week even. I took my car to a garage for some routine maintenance, and, while it was driving just fine when I dropped it off, the engine literally started to splutter and jitter and buck just as soon as I drove it out of there, and by the time I drove it a mile down the road there was smoke pluming out of it and a good portion of the engine oil had burned off. This is the second time this has happened to me in recent years and this is the second mechanic whose door I shall never again darken. One does not mind paying for a mechanic, but when your car goes in drivable and comes out undrivable then it makes one wonder just a little bit if foul play is afoot. Of course mechanics will generally blame you or make out it’s a total coincidence, but that doesn’t really make the frustration any less….frustrating.Continue reading “A Bad Week”
“Do you realise the implications of a cashless society?” asks a young man that looks to be in his late twenties on O’Connell Street.
“Yes, I’ve thought about it a little bit,” I reply.
“The whole world is changing, man,” he says, “we’re all gonna become slaves which is why for the past while I’ve been living in a tent as I’ve decided to go off the grid”.
“Sounds good,” I say, genuinely fascinated.Continue reading “One Day in Dublin”
“Have you any tinned mackerel?” I ask the lady in Tescos who is in the process of stocking the shelves.
“I’m not sure. Oh yes, I see them here. How many do you want?”
“Two, please,” I say, and she proceeds to take two tins out of the box.
“No, I meant two boxes,” I say.
“JESUS CHRIST!” she utters in a biblical tone.
Continue reading “Panic Buying In The Time Of Coronavirus”
“I’m not going,” she says.
“Ah come on, don’t be daft,” I say, “sure it’s all hysteria. You’re more likely to die of diabetes but that doesn’t stop you eating all those chocolate bars, does it?”
“What are you trying to say?” she asks.
“Well, nothing, just that, you know, you like chocolate.”
“And so what if I like it? I know what you’re saying, you asshole.”
“I’m not saying anything. We’ve been looking forward to this gig for weeks. It’d be a shame not to go just because of some silly virus.” Continue reading “Love In The Time Of Coronavirus”
I very recently had occasion to be all night in A&E and, quite honestly, it was the most chaotic I have ever seen it. I won’t delve into the details as to why I was there, as they are personal, but I would like to relate the experience nonetheless. Continue reading “ONE NIGHT IN A&E IN GALWAY”
Part 1: No Bed at The INN
“Give me your documents or there will be no bed for you here tonight and you must sleep on the cold October streets,” is the reception I get when I arrive at my accommodation in The Ritz the night before the Dublin Marathon. Except that it’s not actually The Ritz and that’s not exactly what the receptionist said. But while the €56 for a bunk bed in a room shared with strangers could hardly be described as The Ritz, the reality is I am literally going to be turned out onto the streets as the identification I have, even though it is photo ID and has been accepted everywhere else I’ve ever used it, does not come in the form of a passport or driving licence. Lovely.
“He had this green growth on his langer and so he went to the doctor. The doctor asked him if he’d been out somewhere foreign and he said he’d been to Mongolia and so the doctor said, ‘ah, you have the Green Mongolian Veneral Disease then, you might have to have it amputated’. So, he goes to a Chinese specialist and asks him, ‘Will I have to have it amputated?’ and the Chinese lad says, ‘no,’ to which he breathes a sigh of relief. And then the Chinese doctor continues, ’It will fall off all by itself.’” Continue reading “One Day In Aughrim, Galway”